My beloved friend…

I saw her walking in a tumbling motion. She looked as if she was expecting a little one. I don’t exactly remember which event we were at and how it all began. But I ended up asking her if she was expecting. She whispered to me & said “Yes”. I got all excited as I usually do when I hear about babies or see one.. I said, ” Do you know who it is” . However, this time..I didn’t expect her to answer me.. maybe because many people like to save the suspense until it is time. But she whispered to me again & said “Yes, It’s a girl”. I was really happy for her. Masha Allah. Now that I think about it, why did she even had a need to tell a stranger about her little secret. The truth is she treated me just like her real sister. About a month ago Allah’s trial fell upon her, her hubby & her family by taking away the baby. Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’oun.

Then, I remember waking up one morning & reading the text ; it just brought me to realty. On July 2nd, 3:30am; my beloved friend & a sister has left this world. Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’oun. My heart was heavy as if someone place a huge rock on it. I had tears in my eyes. It saddens me that my facebook friend’s request is never going to be answered. I had just seen her about 2 months ago & now she is no more. I remember hearing about her janazah & how people in hundreds has showed up. There were people left & right testifying on her behalf. Even those who didn’t know her sensed that she must have been a pious muslimah. May Allah[swt] reward her for all the dawah work she did and grant her with the best in Akhirah. Ameeen.

Subhan Allah , that just made me jealous. How much work have I done for the sake of Allah? Will people talking good about me when I am lying in that box ? This whole incident made me realize so many things. For past few months I have been stressed. The pressure of marriage is on. However, this incident changed my entire perception towards life. I am not stressing about marriage anymore. I might depart this world before I even be able to find my soulmate. Who knows ? My focus of life is to memorize the Qur’an & I need to take this chance seriously. Insha Allah!

Let him >MJ< rest in peace please !

Inna lillahi wa inna illahi rajioun. Yesterday Michael Jackson passed away. My facebook was full of peoples status updates dedicated to him. Some of them couldn’t even believe that he was dead. Some of them were just surprised as if death only takes over selective people. Then there were those who started to debate & question whether he was muslim or not. Some arguing the fact how much he might have paid to keep that child abusee to lighten up his molestation case. Then there were those who were reminding others of death. Alhamdulilah. Check this out: http://forums.almaghrib.org/showthread.php?t=35129&page=1&pp=10

Anyways, What really got me was the fact that the “king of Pop” >> not the “halal nasheed” style Pop by the ways << passed away and there was sadness filled. People were showing extreme condolences. I turned on the TV & how MJ's life was being aired with him singing in the mic with his buddies in the back .. the same scene was being shown all over. However, my beef is not with michael & his life. He was a cool, dude. I really hope he was muslim .. Insha Allah! What really got me was the whole reaction of people to death itself. Moreover it should be something on our minds most of the time. We all gotta meet the sands of grave & then our creator. NO ? So, why this utter shock ?? Then dedication of statuses was another one of my beef-ful moment. So how many times have we dedicated our status to muslims being tortured, abused, harrassed, shown injustices. Trust me that happens every single day. No way, I am saying that we shouldn’t be saddened that MJ who could or couldn’t be our brother in islam had passed away. I think we should just let him "Rest in peace". He is gone. Allah is the ultimate protector. He[swt] will protect him. Now, please go back & dedicate your facebook, gmail, AIM statuses to something that can help us bring a change. Insha Allah!

I’m back for good!

Hibernation is over & now I have decided to get back on track .. Actually I had been busy & you might see some of the upcoming posts on what I went thru for past couple of months. Too much has been going on but nothing that I already want it to happen has happened. *sigh* .. I am at the stage of my life where I am practicing abundance amount of patience. Life has been a roller coaster. But I do have hope in Allah. Actually that is the *only* thing I have left to believe in. Thus, those of you who are reading this , please , please, please keep me in your dua’as! I seriously need them bad!

“Amazing is the believer: There is no decree that Allah writes for him, but is better for him. If an affliction strikes him, he is patient and this is better for him. If a bounty is granted to him, he is thankful and this is better for him. This trait is only for the faithful believer.” [Bukhari, Muslim].

Summer Mubarak …

PinK!

I was feeling itchy, hot and didn’t know what was going on until something in me told me to open the windows in the room. I felt the cool breeze coming , that is when I realized that summer has officially arrived. My flip flops are out. I can do flipping and flopping from now on. I love them. It is the most comfy thing that have been under my feet. Although flip flops makes me think of penguins style of walk. You know how they jiggle while walking.. they are sorta flipping flopping.. very cutely .. I love flip flops… they are my favs. and Pink flip flops just looks way too cool .

iwannagetmarried syndrome: Part 3

My Love Notes !

How come no one told me that getting married is tougher than choosing a major in college? It took me literally 2 years to settle for something other than what I wanted in high school. Alhamdulilah, I love my career very much now. But, woahhhh! I can totally compare searching for “the one” to rocket science. Let’s see how many potentials i gotta go through in order to find “THE ONE”.

My plan is to make a list of all the potentials . I think this list is going to serve as a cool “Appreciate Me” demand tool. You see, when I find “the one” & marry him; our lives will be an “happily ever after” one, Insha Allah . However, just like all other relationships; I am sure this relationship will have its highs & lows ends. I am guessing that whenever we hit the the low end; it is totally going to be a involved with tornados of fights & arguments. This is when I am going to pull out this list & say “Hey, Look what I had to go through in order to find you & is this how you treat me?” .. & then hopefully & I only have HOPE as of now that he will feel extremely drowned in the ocean of guilt & try to apologize saying something like “awwwww, you love me more than I do” . [ Okay, so scratch "Awwwww". Guys don't say that ] . But, this is when I am gonna say “Damn, right. I love you MORE ” . After that I am going to turn around, stump my foot, kiss my list & walk away with bold shoulders just like a warrior who won the war.. VICTORY.. YES !.

& the search continues ………….

iRocked it :) .. Alhamdulilah

The other day there was a misunderstanding between me and one of the girls. I had said one thing and she took it wayyyyy too personally which was not meant to be. It was meant to be a joke and we both were aware of it. yet, I took a step forward of apologizing eventhough it was her fault of misunderstanding.. So, I apologized cuz’ I dont wanna take any chances on the Day of Judgement. You know how we all will be responsible of our actions. Actually there is a hadith or ayah in the Qur’an which states that no two people would enter Jannah, unless they forgive each other… I didn’t wanted her to hold any grudges against me which will prevent me from entering Jannah.

Also, I did that cuz’ it makes me bigger person anyways. Ever watched K3g ? so watch it from 3:48 – 5:30 ..

& here is my version of translation from what Kajol’s was saying.. ” Asking forgiving from others is not a sign of lowering yourself infront of others eyes & those who forgive do have a huge heart . [ok, I am not a good translator :p.. but yeah, she said something along those lines ]

Forgiving is not easy ! It is not easy to take out the grudge from your heart and throw it out of the window. Yet, it is one of the greatest acts. I mean c’mon road to Jannah is not gonna be smooth with flower petals on it, you know .. Shortcomings are part of being a human. Let’s call it human error. So, this girl ended up saying something like this “Don’t apologize after the damage is done”.. I am like “yo, I thought you were more religious than me” & then thought in my head “but apparently not. You got a heart of rock”. And I walked away with my heart of gold [hey, I did apologize eventhough it was her misunderstanding]

Bottom line, always try to be a rock. But, understand that not all rocks are gems. Some are beneficial ones that are able to encounter hardship & give up their desires for the sake of Allah [ like, I would have totally told her off.. but then I knew I would be mesing up my deeds by doing so, I chose to walk away]. But some rocks are the ones that are found on the beach ! Useless! Unworthy! Flowing with flow of the ocean! They have no direction! They are so messed up !

So, the real question is HOW DO YOU ROCK ?

So how do YOU rock ?

P.S: Did you notice Kajol’s style.. I love her.. If I was an actress, she would be my role model. But, I love keeping it hayafied & I am totally waiting to pull off her attitude, eyemake up & style infront of my husband

Losing the dear one….

Today I lost “something” that was so very dear and special to me. “Something” that brought me peace of mind and everytime I thought of it; it gave me a happy and relaxing feeling. OMG.. I don’t know how to really describe it… it is “something” which brought sense of calm, soothing reaction to me. I loved hanging out with this “something”.. It was the best thing ever to me. I keep losing & gaining this “something” every year though …. so I am not so much worried cuz’ i know I’ll get it back soon. But, OMG… I am going to miss it sooooo much.

“Do not be in despair: it is impossible for things to remain the same. The days and years rotate, the future is unseen…..” — Don’t be sad. [my favorite book]

Bad times never stay forever. Life moves one. I am just going to be grateful for Qadr of Allah as he is the best[est] of all the planners.

Therefore, I HAPPILY agree *insert smiley face with sparking white teeth* with Allah’s will and losing my dear … my close bud… my beloved… MY SLEEP in this year’s daylight savings .. losing 1 hours of sleep [Inna lillahi wa inna illahi rajioun].. gaining 1 hour of daylight. [Alhamdulilah] .. ..

iwannagetmarried syndrome: Part 2

At the end of an islamic class, a sister & I started to chit chat. Just general getting to know each other chit chat .. While we were speaking I noticed a dude right behind the sister. He was looking towards us but each time I would look he would just change his course of view. hmmmm.. obviously, I didin’t know the dude. So, I asked the sister “Hey, do you know him? ” She looked behind her & as she turned back towards me ; her face turned totally red. Like a tomatoooooooo! lol. Then she said ” That’s my husband”. Being that she all blushed up, I asked “Did you just get married?” . She replied: “No, we been married for about 3 years”. I was sooo shocked and amazed at the same time and I said ” & You still blush? ” . The bechari larki turned more red. lol.. Awwwwwwwwww…..

May Allah[swt] bless everyone’s marriage with much love, happiness, mercy & all beautiful stuff. Ameen !

Pyar, Ishq aur mohabbat ! Hamesha <3

My arab rejuvenation!

Art of Arabic..

I started taking Arabic language classes’ couple of months ago. During the beginning of the course, the instructor told us a story which made such a huge impact on me. It increased my desire to learn Arabic.

This is a story of man by the name of Fudhayl Ibn Iyaadh. Once he was climbing a wall to go to commit zina [fornication] with a woman. As he was climbing the wall of the woman’s house he heard some Muslim men praying in Jama’ah [gathering] on the other side. The imam of the Jama’ah recited this ayah from Surah Hadid, verse # 16.

أَلَمْ يَأْنِ لِلَّذِينَ آمَنُوا أَن تَخْشَعَ قُلُوبُهُمْ لِذِكْرِ اللَّهِ وَمَا نَزَلَ مِنَ الْحَقِّ
“Has not the time come that the hearts of the believers tremble with fear for the remembrance of Allah and what He has revealed of the Haqq (i.e. truth)…”

Upon hearing this ayah Fudhayl said to himself: The time has come for me. He thought to himself, if he doesn’t change now then when will he?? At that point he abandoned the sin he was going to commit and later became one of the scholars of Islam during his time.

Subhan Allah this man stopped from committing a sin cuz’ the ayah of the Qur’an touched his heart. This was possible only cuz’ he understood Arabic. Often times I hear people reciting, imams reciting during prayer but obviously I don’t get that feeling of “Man I need to change myself.” Apparently because I don’t even understand what is being said? Learning the language Arabic is a form of ibadah [worship]. Imagine; understand the entire Qur’an in its original language. Exactly the way Allah revealed it. You will feel a direct connection with Allah. Fudhayl Ibn Iyaadh changed his entire course of life, to 180 degrees only cuz’ he understood Arabic. He understood exactly what Allah was saying. He made that connection with Allah then he became the scholar of Islam. I have attended so many classes and I can vouch that there are very few people who understand the true meaning of Quran & act upon. There are those who are learning Qur’an and have no adab whatsoever. Wouldn’t we want to be from those few people who learn Qur’an & act upon it? Quran is such a wonderful book than any textbook we are reading to get a degree. It changed the life of a sinning man & gave him a status of the scholar. Now the man has status in Jannah. Jannah is our goal & learning Arabic is a route that takes us there. I pray I implement that which I learn and that which is beneficial knowledge Insha’Allah. May Allah [swt] forgive our sins and make us better and truly turn to Him. Ameen.

So, It is about a year long course. By the end of the course I should be able to read, write & speak Arabic. Insha Allah! I am sooooo excited & can’t wait to speak it with my arab friends . Actually, it has been a lot of help already. Now that I read Qur’an, I am able to understand little bit here and there of what is being stated. However, often I wonder what my feeling would about understand the Qur’an the way it was revealed in Arabic which was the language of Prophet [saw]. It would be just like Allah speaking to me directly. I wouldn’t feel any barrier between the message of the Qur’an and me.

When I was youngER [I am still young ], I used to speak Arabic very fluently. Obviously at that time I spoke it cuz’ everyone else did too around me. Since my big move to this land, I haven’t practiced speaking Arabic & I am quite ashamed to admit that I have forgotten much of this language. Well, it is sort of saddening to admit that. Now that I have learnt many parts of the Qur’an I think understanding of Arabic language would be very useful in my memorization. It would be easy to know what I am reading & memorizing. More like the opposite of Ratta. Ratta in Urdu means to repeat the samething over & over again just to memorize it. It doesn’t require any understanding of what is being read. You just repeat it over & over again to retain for short term. So, far I am enjoying this rejuveation. Alhamdulilah. The instructor warned us that this is the easy stage. It is gonna get harder.. But, again Jannah is not as easy :p.. I definately have to keep in might “That I am not a quitter” .. I suggest, if arabic is not your first language then make it a priority. You will never regret being touched by the Qur’an. Totally guaranteed. Insha Allah.

M&M

Today was the end of the amazing Al-maghrib seminar I ever took. Well, all seminars I took were amazing were an iman boosting drink for me .. It all energized me & rejuvenated me.. but his class was just unique. It was different in a sense that the shaykh wasn’t talking about the relationships & love as in my 1st seminar ever. ahem* love notes ahem* .. neither the shaykh was talking about the life of the great muslim scholars & lessons from them just like my 2nd seminar in torch bearers. This seminar is my 3rd Al maghrib seminar. You know how there is always a reason for everything in our life. Anything that occurs to us has some sort of lesson for us. Have you ever done anything with no great purpose but than this thing itself becomes a purpose for you to do many things. … This seminar was meant to happen to me. I took it simply cuz’ I wanted to learn the greatest book of the world. I wanted to know the history & sciences behind it . I had an intention to expand my knowledge of Qur’an that I had already learnt in a 2 year institute course. But that wasn’t the case. Sitting at the seminar during the 1st weekend, thoughts crossed my mind as to why I was not taught about the preservation, compilation, existing of Qur’an before even studying the tafsir of it. I felt like this course have been an excellent introduction to the journey of qur’an that I took about 3 years ago. Subhan Allah! learning about this blessed book makes me wanna drop everything.. I don’t want to hunt for marriage anymore, I don’t wanna go back to grad school, I don’t want to have any plans to tour the world … I wanna just spend time with this amazing book. I wanna just sit in the corner & memorize it & capture it in my heart. I want to just be attached to it as if it is my only best friend… so, remember how I mentioned before that there is a purpose to everything.. I started memorizing Qur’an a while ago.. however it hasn’t been a sucessful so far. laziness takes me over. fluctuation of iman takes me down. But this was a boost for me to lift up my iman. It is amazing what the shaykh mentioned in the seminar.. The shaykh said why does everyone ask “is it more important that i do this first? or that?” well… what i don’t undersatnd is why can’t you do both?! Muslims Multitask! Say what???? I am an M&M [Muslims Multitasker ] Subhan Allah! I have always been amazed with my multi tasking skills. funny how my last post was about multitasking too … but to hear it from the shaykh gave me an extra uplift.

I am usually the one person who raises her hand everytime a volunteering opportunity comes around. I do this for # of reasons.
1. I want to gain as much ajr as I want. I am one hungry chic .
2. I want to help out in the muslim community to make it a better one. My motto is If I don’t do it , no one will. I believer each one of us are talent & gifted uniquely.. if we combine these talents then we all will be able to establish something extraordinary, Insha Allah..
3. I love the feeling. I love the feeling of helping. I love the feeling of being part of this ummah. I love it when I see that our community is progressing gradually but surely.. May Allah[swt] help us & make us righteous & pious muslims who enter into Jannah. Ameen! ..

This was the purpose of me coming to this seminar. It was Qadr of Allah! It has been an extra push for me to keep going with memorization.. so , basically this class gave me a new meaning to memorize it. To cage it in my chest. To respect, recite, read it in a manner it should be.. The shaykh shared soooooo many great tips. While he was telling us the tips, I was like “This is exactly what I need. This drive. This enthusiasm. This knowledge. This feeling. This love to continue in my memorization of the Qur’an. I calculated the number of pages & if I memorize 1 page a day ; I’ll be able to finish the memorization in a year & half. That is nothing. I am not even planning to go back to school soon. So, why not make this a priority. Why not make this my school … It feels as if there is a candle lit inside me & I don’t want it go away. I want to have the same feeling of being enlightened, uplifted forever. I’m feeling sleepy but I feel like I will go to sleep now & won’t have the same feeling tomorrow. The same energy of wanting memorize more & more & more of the Qur’an. Dear readers, Please remember me in your dua’as! Please make dua’a for me. May Allah[swt] make this journey of Qur’an an easy & successful one. Ameen!

.. I couldn’t find a perfect picture to describe my feeling ! I think I gotta get my photoshop skills out.. once I get it ! I ‘ll update this post!… [EDIT: I just found the perfect pic. lol]